Thursday, April 7, 2011

Who's her daddy?

So, I think I'm pretty prepared for the question I'll get from Markin someday - "Who's my daddy?" It's one I thought about how I'd answer long before she was conceived! One question I found out I'm not prepared for is "Who is her daddy?" When an adult asks, I willingly tell them I used a sperm donor (and how long I had to wait to get her!) - but how do I answer that when another child or a young adult asks? I don't know how open that family is to talking about it! Even with my niece, I avoided the question because I wasn't 100% sure what she really was asking. She worded it funny - something about "Is there a daddy at your house?" and I answered no, but didn't go into details -- and should have because I know my sister would be okay with it. However, she accepted my answer and I'm sure the opportunity to talk about it again will come up! A very nice young man with a disability approached me the other day and asked where Markin's dad was. I just told him that she doesn't have a dad, but he looked really confused and tried asking again but I just repeated that she doesn't have one. But, how much info should I give out to youngsters? Also -- my students' parents know I'm a single mom by choice but I don't go into details with my students and, thankfully, they haven't asked - yet! yet! ............................................................................................................................... ......................................................... And, guess what? Markin and I are already talking about the donor! She loves to say "dada" and I reply, "no dada, I'm mama" which just gets her laughing and she says "dada" again and it ends up like a game. She has said "mama" and "mommy" a few times, but "dada" is her favorite thing to say. ............................................................................................................................... .............................................. My sister is so sweet! She asked me if she could take Markin shopping for Mother's Day! She wants to make it an annual tradition. Just having Markin is enough of a Mother's Day gift! I asked her if she'd do it for my birthday instead since I bet her day care (and later school) will do something for Mother's Day and Christmas, but it was so sweet of her to think of that!

2 comments:

  1. Oh we play the "mama" and "dada" game on a daily basis. Lexi will say dada and I say no mama, then she yells louder dada and so we go back and forth and she is laughing the whole time. I know she knows how to say mama because when she is really upset and walking after me crying she will cry mama mama! So funny what they find amusing.

    On the how to answer the little one's questions I don't have a clue what you should say to them. I know even at almost 6 if you told Kinzley there wasn't a daddy she wouldn't understand either. Maybe there is a book out there on what to say to other peoples kids about sperm donors?

    How sweet of your sister, and very smart of you for thinking it would be better on your birthday. I totally agree. I have a friend who is a single mom of a 5 year old boy and I know she gets stuff for mothers day from daycare but I make sure and buy her something just for her on her birthday since he can't do it for her!

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  2. The craziest Daddy question I get is "Do they all have the same donor?". "Um, yes.". "That must be why they look so much a like". This one leaves me scratching my head.

    When strangers/kids ask I think I'm just gonna say he's the ice cream man (frozen sperm, haha)

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