Sunday, February 21, 2010

"Who's my daddy?"

I'm fully aware that I'll have to deal with this question someday and I'm sure you might be wondering about Sweet Pea's "biological father" as well. We'll definitely talk about him, but I haven't decided what we'll call him yet - I'm trying to buy a book about it - it was called something like The Story of Me and they had several variations, one being a single mother by choice using donor sperm and IVF to get pregnant but I can't find it anymore! I'll keep looking because I want to find ways to talk to her about him so that she has a positive self-image and hopefully a way to respond if other children tease her about not having a dad. Also, if I start early, hopefully it won't be a big deal!

Its funny - when you're married, your goal is to produce a child that is a blend of the couple, when you're single, you want your child to have your best characteristics with improvements in the areas you don't like. Also, I was a lot pickier with choosing a donor than I ever would be in choosing someone to date! I picked a donor that is 6' tall with blue eyes and brown hair. His hair has some body to it, so hopefully she'll have some waves but not be too much like mine (some people like my naturally curly hair, but I usually refer to it as naturally frizzy). No allergies, excellent eyesight and good teeth, but he did need braces (but who doesn't, right?). He was a good student and earned a full scholarship to college (and since I did too, I hope I can expect Sweet Pea to get good grades and earn at least a partial scholarship - keep your fingers crossed!) He's athletic, but not good enough to participate professionally. His family's health history was pretty good also - no major red flags. My favorite part: "Why I became a donor: A good friend and his wife have had fertility issues, and I saw the trials that they went through. This is a way I can help couples in similiar situations." How sweet is that! Also, when she's 18, she can contact Xytex and get his name and contact information, so that she'll get an updated family history and a chance to research the other side of her family if she wants to.

The donor was 6 lbs 8 oz when he was born, so I was surprised that Sweet Pea was measuring a week ahead already. However, he does have a daughter who weighed 9 pounds when she was born - hopefully Sweet Pea won't be that big. And if she is, I'll definitely be planning on a c-section!

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